Wow, the subject is a pretty bold statement – saying that I have the key to life. I believe I do though. I believe it looks different for every person and I believe it’s simple, really simple but also easily forgotten.
What allusive, mysterious idea am I alluding to? Positivity, my friend. I know, I know. Life shattering. Just kidding. I’m sure we’ve all figured out that this is the key to life. If you haven’t so much declared it to be just that, let me explain why I have.
So much of life isn’t what happens to us, it is how we react to it. In my short 25 years on this earth, I’ve had my fair share of, well, crap. It would be really easy to let what has happened to me become who I am. It would be really easy for all of us to do that. But life isn’t about what’s easy, it’s about doing what’s right.
This comes from a place where I have just crawled out of the hole, am sitting on the rim, looking down in disbelief. This is not coming from a know it all, have it all place. Trust me. I am ready for some light, love, positivity, and some good ole dance parties. I’ve realized that while it seems easier to wallow in self-pity, to let circumstance become outlook, it is actually a much harder way to go through life. What’s actually easier is positivity. It takes a hot second. It really does. I think I’ve been wallowing for about a month, maybe two now. The difficult part is at the beginning, putting yourself back to where I’ve found myself now. But nows the easy part. To just be positive, to have hope, to keep skipping, running, dancing, and twirling. That sounds a lot easier than hating life, losing hope, and crawling your way through life, doesn’t it?
Honestly, I never expected my 20’s to be this hard. But life isn’t defined by ages and decades. It’s defined by your heart, your spirit, your mind. It isn’t that it’s my 20’s. It’s just the pit of path I’m currently treading.
I’m not sure how to tell you to crawl out of the hole. Everyone is different. I talk to my friends and family until I’m out of words. I cry. I listen to music that makes me sad, happy, dance, and think. I watch reruns of my favorite shows. I force myself to get out of my house. And I let myself have those nights where I just can’t deal with it anymore. Recently, I was letting people dictate how I felt. People who seemed to add positivity and happiness to my life only to immediately turn around and do the exact opposite. People who behaved how I never would. I find people who treat other people badly extremely confusing. It just doesn’t compute to me. I would never treat someone like that. Alas, that’s not what this is about. It’s not about them anymore. It’s about me.
Take the time for yourself. It isn’t selfish. I always felt I needed to be there for everyone even when they treated me badly. I don’t think that anymore. I really don’t. I am the only one in charge of my own happiness. If they are thinking about their happiness and I’m thinking about their happiness, who is thinking about mine?
Moments of weakness. They’re going to come. Had one this morning. Just because you’ve made the decision to be positive instead of negative, does not mean that you’ll only throw confetti around and say inspiring quotes from now on. It means you’ll also have dessert for breakfast and that binge night of Will and Grace. But remember, you’re worth it. You’re worth fighting for. Hope is worth fighting for. You can do this. I can do this. Not a single person knows what they’re doing. This too shall pass and something better is ahead. One of my favorites is, “it’s a good day to have a good day”.
Listen to music, read a book, have dinner with friends, lay in sunshine, breathe in the fresh air. Look up at the sky and dance to a good song. Everything is going to be alright. I say that to me and to you. And the people who bring you down? Waste of time. They are worse off then you are. They’ve given up someone who could have been great for them. Who could have brought out the best in them. Who could have made them happy. People say words but that’s all they are. You’ve got this. There’s no doubt about it.